I'm not sure why, buy I was always Dad's favorite. Sure, he said he didn't have favorites, that he loved us all equally, blah blah blah. But I knew he liked me best. That's why he made me the heir to our family's legacy, and not Ariel.




Ariel was the golden child. She was sooooo perfect. She was already proving that she'd be a great mother to the next generation by taking care of our new twin brothers, Casper and Blake.




But me, I hated babies! They were always crying and whining and it drove me nuts! But I did like playing with the older twins, Fabian and Wesley. They were pretty fun.




Ariel was also a perfect student. I swear, every afternoon she'd run off the bus and into the house excitedly waving around her A+ reports. What a nerd! It's not like Mom or Dad even had time to notice!




I had more important things to worry about than homework and tests. Like dating! Ariel had no interest in boys. What a weirdo. Me, I wanted to date as many boys as I possibly could. That gypsy and I were on a first-name basis before long, you bet.




Another thing about Ariel is that she was so neat and clean and tidy. Any time we went to a cafe or restaurant downtown all she did was clean up after other customers. HELLO! They have people who get paid to do that!




I didn't mind being untidy or even a bit dirty. And I loved getting all wet and slushy in the snow during winter—something Ariel would never do. That's okay. We didn't need her. She probably would've made our snowmen wear glasses or something just as geeky.




Fabian and Wesley were a lot like Ariel and me in some ways. Fabian was like me—he was really outgoing and loved getting attention. Wesley was kind of a loner, like Ariel, and would rather do his own thing than hang out with the rest of us.




Casper and Blake were following the same pattern. Blake was just the sweetest little thing, but Casper whined a lot. Like, ALL THE TIME. Ugh!




Mom never seemed to mind it, though. In her eyes, all of her kids were angels. And she really loved being a housewife. I don't know why. Raising a ton of whiny kids isn't my idea of a fun life, but whatever.




Okay, I guess Ariel and I did our fair share of whining, too, when we started getting pimples. YUCK! But really, I don't know why Ariel was so upset about it. It's not like she had any boyfriends to look pretty for. And her books sure didn't care what she looked like!




But I had a whole lot of someones to impress. Especially Brad McAuley. He was definitely the hottest boy I ever dated! And he was such a flirt!




He wasn't too smooth on the rink, though. While I was doing triple ollies or whatever they're called, he was landing flat on his butt again and again. Hah!




But I still let him kiss me at the end of our date. Well, okay, I let him do a bit more than that. I mean, he was SEXAYYYY!!!1!1!! Don't tell me you wouldn't hit that!




Not all of my dates were as cool. That Mercutio Monty guy? He was more interested in that stupid cow plant than me. Needless to say I never called him back. Come to think of it, I never actually saw him again after that. I wonder what happened to that guy?




Fabian was turning out to be quite the pimp, too, once he was old enough to actually know what a hormone was. He tried flirting with the maid all the time, but hello! Like she'd want anything to do with a fourteen-year-old!




After Ariel left for college and Mom started spending tons of time in her greenhouse, I was surrounded by testosterone every minute of the day. I didn't mind! Guys were way more fun than girls, anyway!




Though it wasn't always fun watching those monsters eat. I mean, I sure wasn't a neat freak like Ariel, but at least I could get my food from bowl to mouth without sending it flying all over the table!




And Casper and Blake just loved bugs. Gross! Any time they saw a roach on the sidewalk they were all over it, and they must've collected hundreds of butterflies in jars.




Even though I was a bit of a tomboy, I was still a girl at heart. I couldn't bear to watch those pretty butterflies just wither away in jars, so I always set them free. Casper and Blake got pretty mad at me for it, but oh well.




I loved all sorts of animals, really. Even the meanest stray dogs would warm up to me and let me rub their bellies. And Mom's cat, Abby, always slept on my bed.




My brothers and I did have one thing in common: our hate for homework! We were always struggling to get our assignments done at, like, midnight the day before it was due. Oops!




Somehow I graduated high school with good enough grades to get me into college. But I decided not to join Ariel at Sim State U.




Nope, it was La Fiesta Tech for me! Forget assignments and classes—the next four years would be full of parties, dating, and FUN!




The only thing I ever used the dorm computer for was to play video games and chat up hotties on MySpace. I never typed a word of any of my term papers. Why should I when I could get someone else to do them for me!




It was easy to convince them to do all of my work for me. I guess prancing around in my undies all the time helped. Guys were too busy staring at me to even realize what they were agreeing to do. I could've had them eating dog food if I wanted!




Since LFT was in the desert, I spent tons of time splashing around in the pool and basking in the sun. Maybe a bit too much. Whatever, tans are way cooler than UV protection!




Having water balloon fights was another great way to cool down in the summer heat. Too bad my roommates didn't always like having water balloons shoved in their faces. What party poopers!




Most of them had no concept of privacy, but luckily I had no concept of modesty. If those weirdos wanted to hang out in the bathroom of all places, I sure wasn't going to let it stop me from stripping down for a shower!




I got along with most of my roommates, except this one bitch who just did NOT like me. Normally I'm a very nice person, but I don't take shit from anyone! I made sure to shove her around at least once a day just so she knew not to mess with me.




It wasn't long before I'd dated a good chunk of the student body at La Fiesta Tech. I made it a point never to date anyone twice. Why should I, when there were so many cute boys to choose from?




I even dated a professor or two, but that was mostly just to boost my grade. Turns out older men can't handle their dates flirting with other guys. God! It's not like we were married!




One afternoon I was on my way out to the pool when I walked by THE HOTTEST GUY EVER. I could NOT believe my eyes when I realized it was Brad McAuley! Holy @#&$! Did he ever grow up!




He'd come to the dorm to see someone else, but you can bet it was my side he was glued to for the rest of the day. We swam and lounged by the pool until the sun went down, and that's when I really turned on the patented Genevieve Foxworth charm.




I might've been a serial dater, but I never went all the way with any of those guys. But Brad was irresistable. That messy red hair, those sparkling green eyes, those full lips...! Can you really blame me?




Even though I gave Brad my virginity, I wasn't about to settle down with him or anything. There were still tons of guys out there I hadn't dated! Once again I was a regular customer of that gypsy, though she wasn't always impressed with the small fees I paid her. Hasn't she ever heard of the term starving college student?




That old bat was smart, though. She gave me guys that were hardly even attracted to me (what, where they BLIND?) so I had to shell out even more money for some Love Potion #8.5. Oh well, at least it did the trick!




I started giving makeovers to earn a few bucks. Things didn't always go as planned, though. Whatever, the purple raccoon look is totally hot!




I had way better success getting tips for playing the guitar and drums. I was an art student, after all, and all those artsy talents are the same when it comes down to it. Really, I could've been the next Avril Lavigne, or someone!




After awhile my impromptu concerts earned me enough cash to go out to classy restaurants with classy friends and drink classy wine!




Of course I still did not-so-classy things in not-so-classy places, too.




Taking one of my professors to bed definitely wasn't classy, either, but it was nearing the end of my senior year and my grades weren't that great. What else could I do? Oh, sure, I guess I could've actually gone to classes and did assignments, but where's the fun in that?




Naturally, I passed with flying colors—a GPA of 3.9 to be exact. Which totally justified having a WICKED COOL GRAD PARTY! Fireworks, noisemakers, spiked punch, and everyone's favorite...




BUBBLE BONG! Even Ariel came to the party, and so did Brad. Neither of them are anywhere close to what you'd call party animals, but they got ten kinds of smashed with my expert help.




Brad was so far gone he wasn't even shy about getting it on in the hot tub! The hot sun, the hot water, and a few pairs of eyes furtively watching us... definitely the most exciting moment of my LIFE!




But all that fun had to come to an end sometime. The morning after the party I was packed and ready to go back, reluctantly, to Veronaville. I had to leave behind my carefree life of dating and parties and enter the world of adult responsibility. But you can bet I'd find a way to make it fun, somehow!